how do gay guys feel when they get oddly turned on by a woman?
whenever people say they dont like cats because they dont happily greet you at the door i give them the stinkiest eye
Imagine being given a list of all the people who made you into the person you are today. And next to their name you could see the exact personality trait you got because of them.
im going to punch the next person who says its a metaphor
it’s a simile
"THAT SHIRT WITH THOSE SHOES?"
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
*history teachers crying*
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
i sit on the computer for like 12 hours a day lmao
thats terrible u should try a chair